Trying to Find Myself

Trying to Find Myself

20 April, 2018

Almost unfamiliar: my own self.

He stares back at me with a troubled gaze,

Reflects an unreal image of himself.

With each prolonged breath he looks at the haze

and asks, “Why!?” Still looking for answers gone.

He cries - remains haunted by fears - and hopes

to find peace but withheld light of a Dawn,

beyond his own mind’s reach; his stretched hand gropes

at the glass for the one to hold without

Shame. A cracked translucent wall sits between us -

aged, faded, marred over time... - Worth in doubt.

He’s bound within his fragile box... Anxious,

he asks through the pane, “How long will this be?”

And I: “When we are whole or finally free.”

To a Flower,

To a Flower,

Beauty within distance, untouchable, 

I am. Alone. Unwanted. Without Hope 

or Comfort. I wish to be Loveable, 

And be Loved by you, unfixed from the rope. 

The flower I had seen beyond reach,  remains, 

Fluttering in the wind in its own dance. 

Without care of the breeze it still maintains

Its fair stance to be without, Romance. 

Here I sit and stare at the world around, 

Ponder myself, "How I may learn to find

My own flower too? Where should it be found?" 

I open my soul and see beyond mind. 

My fear to fall down with horrid disgrace. 

I wish you would see how I could embrace. 

A Sonnet To My Children

A Sonnet To My Children

My two children, you warm my mortal soul,

Round my lap laughing, I find peace in heart.

Your sight fills joy in my chest... But, a hole?

Created there within and now we may part.

No home to call mine with no land to fill,

This ole’ heart but wants, dreams, of future passed.

No woman beside to share with my will,

To console in my pride with words, contrast.

Enough of this dreaming. Work I Must Do,

Love Must wait, there are other things to find:

I Must start again and begin anew,

To build myself worthy, within my mind.

Expand my dream, my distant shining stars,

My light of love will come, despite Our scars.

Title Post

     Through my work within an introduction to literature class I was introduced to a poetry form, The Sonnet. I came to appreciate the sonnet's style of 14 lined and semi-specific rhyming patterns and wrote an original sonnet for an assignment, but shortly after the semester was over I wrote another. I feel like I want to create a place where I can share these openly, besides my Facebook.

     If one is unfamiliar with the sonnet form there are two essential types the Italian and the English. Both have 14 lines traditionally but each have their own rhyming schemes. I tend to favor the English form, but may try new things in the future. My inspiration comes from many different places, experiences, people, and other things that may have an influence on myself. I'll leave it for my work to show the rest. 

My own precious children, I love you.